The Power in I’m Sorry!!
Hola!
Growing up, our parents taught us to say I’m sorry when we took someone’s toy or did not share. Come to think of it, they were on to something. Funny enough, the same way they taught us as kids to apologize, some parents don’t practice what they preach. Imagine confronting your parents as an adult and they ignore your pain? They find it hard to say a few simple words, I’m sorry!
In some cultures confronting your parents about something they did to embarrass you is a big ol NO. The reaction one would get is how dare you, I birthed you and gave you my all.
In the Latinx culture family is so important and yet they feel it’s ok to share all of your business with everyone. This can lead to trust issues in adulthood.
In childhood you could easily apologize for something and become best friends later. However, something happens to us as we enter adolescence and adulthood. We become selfish or self righteous. We want to be seen as tough. When you were a teenager could you relate to a time you got into it with someone, you knew you were wrong pride and ego never let you apologize. So let’s Fast forward to relationships and even as parents ourselves. We do the sorry but...... you did this first. Or I wouldn’t have yelled if you would’ve just...
Now what if we rekindled our inner child and truly genuinely apologized for our actions? You know what would happen? You would feel so free!
I’ve been on this journey to being the platinum version of myself. A journey which has taken me for a ride. Yet, I’ve remained focused and determined to reach my version of an AMEX black diamond card. When we embark on a journey to being the best version of you, God has a funny way of putting you on an obstacle course. It’s like you’re on a season of Wipe out, some may not be on wipeout some might just have to walk a 5k, but the universe will put you to work.
So as part of my work (as I was truly on wipeout not really but my reality version) lol I ended having a dream. In this dream I was at my old office location for some sort of restorative justice type of meeting and a former employee of mine got up and said and I will paraphrase. I had a supervisor who I felt betrayed by. She was not there for me at a time I needed her the most and I lost trust in her. In the dream I kept thinking omg she’s talking about me and I need to apologize to her.
So when I woke up I processed the dream and decided to text her. I said hey so and so. I had a weird dream last night with you and I feel it’s accurate and I need to apologize for the way I showed up as your supervisor. After I text her of course I was like holy moly is she going to reply or flip me off. You see before I was her supervisor she and I were friends for years and it seemed to slowly fade.
Minutes later she responds and asks more details about the dream, to which I provided her. She says the dream was accurate and she accepted my apology. She had made peace with it years ago. I was grateful she forgave me and we wished each other the best. This situation dates back to 5 years ago, yet life has a way of creeping back up and saying girl if you want platinum and want to find the beauty inside of you, then you need to make up with your past.
How often do we show up even in our place of employment as selfish? Looking back I’m trying to process why was I not there for her the way she needed me to be? Maybe I was not the person for her season, but I did hurt her.
After the texts exchange I can’t say how she felt, but I will say I was in a state of gratitude the rest of the day. An apology cannot undo what has been done, but it can help ease the pain and tension of the aftermath. It gives hope for rebuilding, and puts value on the relationship rather than the individual’s pride. From Tiny Buddha
You see Showing emotional vulnerability is no longer seen as a negative but a positive.
Who are you willing to say I’m sorry to?
Are you ready for it?